Krista's Coding Corner

01.04.2012

Offtopic: Competing

Yesterday I met my friend from university. We ended up talking about pressures coming from working life and all the stress we are both dealing with -or have dealt. When we ended our “little” chat, I came into the conclusion that we are missing support and peer groups.

I actually think that this is one really big problem at large also. At least what I have noticed is that (some) young people are really stressed, feel that they are not good enough, smart enough and so on.

If those young people would have these peer groups where they could all share their anxieties, they might understand that also others are feeling insufficiency and incompetence. And all of that is totally normal. Especially, if you get absolutely no training and instructions considering your job.

Why we don’t have these “groups”? Either we are incapable to talk about hard topics and our failures or we don’t have friends who would understand these types of things. In my university studying wasn’t school-like at all: you did your own things and proceeded on your own pace. So, it wasn’t too easy to get friends with people on the same field and specially to graduate at least in somewhat same time with them.

And what is really shame: we are all competing against each other. I have noticed that even some of my very dear friends won’t tell me about places and things they have applied as they don’t want any extra rivals on the applying process (even if it would be absolutely unlikely that I would even be interested about it). And I totally get that. I don’t feel hurt about that at all because somehow it seems normal to me. How absurd.

You can never know if you are going to lose your job, is someone else going to get your raise and will you be unemployed just because you recommended someone else five years ago to another job. This is the sick world we are living in.

Young people could say that the older generations are blue-eyed as they are more eager to help each other (what I have noticed). And yes, they would be if they would live in same world as the youngsters do. But on the other hand: wouldn’t the world be easier and kinder place to live, if we wouldn’t see everyone else as rivals or threats? Because are the others really that bad?

Once I read a text about Dalai-Lama’s speech. He said that we are always trying to be happy and get rid of suffering. And we are always thinking “me”. On contrary, we should understand that there are millions of others and we should visualize this one “me” on the other side of us and the millions of “others” to another side. Then it is easy to see that what is more important, that one “me” or the millions of others. Because those “others” have also the same right to pursue happiness and avoid suffering as we do. Why would this one person be more important? Dalai-Lama said that the question is: should all those other people be used to provide happiness for me or should I be used to provide happiness for all the others? Isn’t it wrong to use all the others only for one person? Even if you could use the others, you hardly will become happy.

This kind of thinking might be a bit strange in western culture but there is some sense in it, I think. If we just compete against each other hardly having any real support, help and understanding from others… Is that really the life we wish to live? Is helping others and sharing really away from ourselves?

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